This is a topic I've grown extremely passionate about through my pregnancy journeys'. We, as women, spend a lot of time worrying about everyone else, but often don't pay enough attention to ourselves. When we are pregnant our bodies are flooded with hormones and our intuition is on high alert, so when we question things and receive a response from our doctor like "that's very normal" our first response is to quiet our internal voice. In my experience, it's absolutely terrifying to be the sole provider of answers to questions during pregnancy, specifically a first pregnancy. We've never done this before and our default is set to 'this must be normal'. We are not experts and I think we tend to steer away from additional inquiry because this journey is SO foreign to us, and we (for some reason) don't want to 'bug', 'interrupt' or 'annoy' our healthcare providers. During our twin pregnancy I visited labor and delivery in advance of my girls' births over 10 times due to what I perceived as pre-term labor signs. Each time they stopped labor or took additional precautions, to keep those babies in. I continued to have a tremendous amount of guilt around this, like I was some sort of legendary, 'oh here she is again' pregnant patient. Hindsight is always 20/20, but at least for me, I wasn't sure I had done the right thing by wobbling in to the labor and delivery unit at all hours, repeatedly, until after I was validated. It wasn't until after the girls were born at 36 weeks that I heard my doctor say, 'great job listening to your body'. I'm pretty sure my response was 'really??'  I know now that he had said it numerous times but I didn't hear it because I was so stinking concerned about the impression I was making on the nurses and others.  I'm not proposing that every mom become irrationally demanding, but what I am proposing is that we recognize that we are the only people that can advocate for our unborn children during pregnancy - here's 10 tips on when and why to speak up:  

1. Only YOU know what you are feeling. Communicate what you are feeling, be specific. We often think that the doctors we meet with regularly will somehow know through a brief description what is going on. We may say, "I have a bit of pain in the right side of my abdomen." Some doctors may default to 'that's normal' but what they don't know is that when we said 'bit of pain' we meant stabbing, unnerving pain and when he doctor says 'that's normal' we feel frustrated with the doctor but really 'a bit of pain' may be normal, 'stabbing pain in a specific spot' may not. The doctor ONLY has what you are telling him/her to go off of - make sure what you are relaying translates to what you are feeling.
   
2. Worrying Sucks, why spend time worrying if you don't have to? If you don't get the answer you want, ask again. Stress plays a HUGE role in well-being, both physical and mental. I hear so many stories about women that are told news and sent for follow up, in many instances the follow up may not be scheduled for a week later. If you are a mom who's had a doctor say something like, " there's something we want to take a closer look at, I've made you an appointment with the ultrasound lab for next Wednesday (and it's Thursday)" you know that the next 7 days of your life are going to be if not unbearable, completely draining. Ladies, there is no rule that says you can't ask for (demand) an earlier appointment. It is likely that if there is this span of time between appointments that the doctor is not actually worried but instead taking a precaution and everything is likely just fine, but that doesn't change the fact that from the moment your doctor told you that your mind started racing and you can't focus on anything else because you are worried about your child. If 7 days is too long for you, be honest with your doctor tell him or her that you can't wait that long and ask for an earlier appointment.
   
3. You are a mom now, and you have a mother's intuition. Follow your gut. You are a mom now (even though that baby is still tucked snuggly in your uterus), whether you realize it or not you have superhuman powers called intuition that supersedes modern medicine...really.  Again, let me remind you that NO ONE can feel what you are feeling and no one can feel your baby the way you do. If you feel like something is not right tell your doctor and ASK for whatever you need until you receive enough information to put your mind at ease.
   
4. Receptionists are not doctors, they can't even play them on TV. Don't take a 'no' from someone who can't give you a 'yes.'  I won't say too much more about this one, but seriously if you have a medical concern, make sure you get an answer from a medical professional.
   
5. Healthcare is a service YOU ARE PAYING FOR! I'm not sure why, but we tend to be less demanding with our health than we are with a dress that doesn't fit correctly. Ladies, we are paying either directly or indirectly for healthcare. Having a baby is an expensive venture! Would you settle for a dress that didn't fit? Rude customer service from the cable company? NO! I think we somehow feel like we are at the mercy of healthcare providers because we need them, and we do....but if we receive poor service or get an answer that no one is willing to explain we somehow accept it. DON'T! Your body, your baby, your money! Remember it is your CHOICE who you entrust these things to. A great relationship with ANYONE who provides a service is built on trust, healthcare should be no different.
   
6. Educate yourself. You cannot learn more from Dr. Google than your doctor knows, so begin by being aware of that. What you can do is constructive research to educate yourself on whatever you are curious about, public forums (FB groups, Babycenter, etc) are a great place to start. They are filled with moms just like you who have been there done that and man who are looking for the same answers you are. While it's important to steer clear of self diagnosis, it is a way to invest in understanding what is happening to your body. It will also arm you with enough information to ask educated questions.
   
7. Be patient, or not. I think it's so ironic that we are called 'patients' when under a physicians care and I don't think it is without reason. The definition of patient (v.)  is 'to endure what is difficult or disagreeable without complaining.' I can agree with this to a certain extent, we need to remember that a Dr.'s capabilities are not defined by his/her waiting room time but otherwise their skill. Visiting an OBGYN is specifically interesting because babies don't always arrive on schedule and are hard to 'plan for.' I can only imagine that this causes some scheduling issues for these docs that devote their lives to delivering little's into this world.  I had the opportunity to see a doctor that was very contentious with time, Often I would receive a phone call that said, Dr. X had to deliver a baby today - would you be able to reschedule your appointment to 3pm?  I would always do the best I could to say YES. Only occasionally did I find myself having elongated waits in the waiting room, but I often thought that there must be a reason. Someone, at some point in the day, needed the Dr. for something more important or urgent than a 'routine check' and for that reason I did my very best to be patient. The flip side of this is that if you find yourself being overly patient when you believe it could be urgent and you should be the one in the spotlight. In these instances, don't be patient, speak up - we may get angry because we feel like we're not being heard but really it is most likely that the Dr. simply doesn't know that we think it's urgent. If it's urgent and you need an answer - act like it, don't be a sitting duck. If you're frustrated because you're stuck in a waiting room and you have a dinner date - chill a bit, this act of patience is likely for good reason and is probably the best unofficial parenting class you will attend. Patience is the name of the game once your little arrives.
   
8. These providers are at work, they've seen it all. I'm certain that there is nothing that you can say or do that they haven't seen before. Throw humility out the window and recognize the world is filled with all sorts of people and lots of people WAY crazier than you could dream of being.
   
9. They are there to help. The units are open 24x7 and they have dedicated their lives because they care. Nobody goes to school that long or gives up their nights if they don't care. If you feel it's needed, let them take care of you.
   
10. That big baby bump contains people: The most important people in your life, your children. Bugging anyone, at any hour, is something we would do for our children so don't be shy just because they're still a part of you.
    

Oh boys....or girls...or boy and girl?!

If you or someone you know is expecting twins, I'm sure you're wondering how big a twin belly actually gets!?

When we found out I was having twins I was shocked!  I quickly found that unlike a singleton pregnancy, it was hard to conceal the news due to my rapidly growing belly. In the first few weeks, people started to speculate that I was pregnant even before I shared the news (I waited until 12 wks to tell the masses and nearly 10 weeks to tell family and friends).  

So shortly after coming to grips with the fact that we were going to have two times the snuggles and two times the fun, I started to wonder....how big am I going to get? I, of course, began googling immediately. I found quite a few images, some shocking and some frankly a bit annoying (think perfectly poised photo of tall slender mom carrying twins at 24 weeks). Many of the progressions I found were from super fit, soon-to-be, twin moms. It appears they may be the only ones brave enough to share their journey towards monstrosity. In hindsight, I wish I would have done a more creative and detailed job in documenting this twin belly journey, but at the forefront I was too focused on other things like....OMG we're going to have TWINS!! 

So here goes - my selfie progression gallery. I didn't document the progression by weeks but I did capture 24 pictures during the progression from beginning to end (I took a picture every 10 days or so) . We made it to 36 weeks, I am 5 feet tall and at the beginning of the journey weighed 120lbs and at the end weighed just over 200lbs. My girls were 6.5lbs each when born and were di-di.  Here's the great news for those of you just beginning your journey, 18 months after my girls were born I was back to my starting weight.   

Are you a soon to be mom of twins? Have a question about what to expect? I would love to share my experiences with you! To read more about my twin journey click here!

​It’s basically a well-known fact amongst those the closest to me that if there’s only a 2% chance of something happening, it will happen…to me. Let’s just cut to the chase, I got a negative pregnancy test 8 weeks into my twin pregnancy. I should also mention that I am an admitted POAS addict. For those who haven’t visited a pregnancy forum, recently tried to make a baby, or just don’t know what the hell I’m talking about; POAS is an abbreviation for Pee On A Stick and I was addicted.

​No fancy photos for this post . These are REAL pictures, from my cell phone from a text conversation with my best friend...Check out the dates...Yup, that's right! I knew I was having twins even before I saw a doctor.

When you pick an OB when you’re 18 years old and just need birth control you don’t ever consider that there could be a moment when you’re sitting in front this doctor waiting for him to tell you more about the news you just received from an ultrasound technician.

“There are two heartbeats. Congratulations! You’re having twins!”

I certainly never thought I would be sitting there.
​

​I'm posting this because it was truly the beginning of our Twin Journey. It is an experience that so many mommies of both twins and singletons can relate to, and it is the life experience that made me the mom I am today. I know I've promised to fill your feed with happy, and certainly will, but this is part of my story that I believe needs to be told. We tend not to talk about Pregnancy and Infant Loss because it's uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it is far more common than we'd like to believe, according to BabyCenter.com "about 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage." Not acknowledging pregnancy and infant loss leaves those in the moment feeling lonely, searching for success stories and potentially feeling 'unallowed' to grieve. 

​Once a year on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day I light a candle for our sweet little angel baby boy. In his honor, a few years ago I posted our story on social media and received a tremendous amount of feedback. Nothing fancy just simple feedback like "thank you for sharing your story." When people 'thank you' for sharing a story, I believe it is because it has touched them, they can relate and they're glad to hear that they're not the only one. I believe that mommies (whether we have children with us on earth or angels with us in our souls) are the most beautiful, powerful beings on earth. For this reason, I think it's important to share this story again as I begin my new journey on this blog.  I still believe the best way to tell our story is to simply copy the letter I wrote to the our local hospital's (Mercy, St. Louis) program coordinator to let here know the impact Mercy HeartPrints had on my life. I felt compelled to share our story with them at the time so that the program would have yet another story with a happy ending to share for families experiencing similar situations because mommies are the eternal optimists and in these situations we are searching...no, yearning, to hear about someone else's happy endings because that reassures they are possible. After all, I did promise to fill your feed with happy.